Sometimes, there are no words. Sometimes for no reason you can conceive some aspect of the everything and everyone decides to single themselves out as the asshole. Sometimes sadness happens in the midst of laughter, from something as simple as a text or an email, to something as complicated as someone saying the wrong thing to you. Sometimes anger comes from nowhere, like a beast lumbering through the dark woods waiting for the chipper Red Riding Hood.
Everyone has had this experience. You are in the midst of your joy and the opposite attacks you out of some dark corner of an alley. Hell, sometimes this happens without any outside force making it happen. Sometimes, in fact, you do it to yourself.
When I get to that place, I know it's time to go. I could be enjoying myself to the utmost, then suddenly, I am gone replaced with a shell of my former self. No one needs to ask me what's wrong. My face says it all.
"When I cry, there is no love. No there is nothing that can comfort me enough." One of my favorite singers sang that in a song. "When I cry, every tear falls deep inside. The salt inside my body ruins everyone I come close to. My hands are barely holding up my head." I've been that song. Right now, I am that song.
Tomorrow I will find my light again. Sleep needs to come fast tonight. Sleep between tears - of both anger and sadness.