Mar 31, 2010

My Guilty Pleasures

1. Pretending Wednesday is Sunday and spending the half of the day that I have nothing to do... in bed.
2. Gossip Girl. Yes, that show is one of my guilty pleasures, deal.
3. Horrible bubblegum pop music. The crappier the better.
4. Teen angst movies. (Probably because of #2 and #3)
5. Stinky socks.
6. Surfing the net - for nothing at all.
7. Apple products. iPhone, iPod, Apple TV, MacBook Pro, iMac, and soon - iPad.
8. The Smurfs. I grew up on it, and any cartoon that has a Zombie episode = cool.
9. The early episodes of Popeye. It is the most racist, and stupid thing in the world. I love it.
10. Horrible romantic comedies. This I get from my mother, and the estrogen that courses through my veins.

Mar 28, 2010

How I Cope.

I've realized that most women cope with anger, sadness, and stress in a completely different way than I do. Most women will eat a pint of ice cream, watch Old Yeller or some sad movie, sulk and cry. I had the opportunity to do that last night and opted out.

Instead, I wrote a blog post about my tears falling inside, someone else's words, but true nonetheless. It's the post beneath this one if you're interested in reading it. So, I wrote. Then I sat on the couch for about 45 seconds and processed the motivation behind what went down that got me to that point, and decided that sulking and being angry about it was pointless. I played some Sarah Vaughan. I listened to her sing Summertime, and I sang it right along with her. "One of these mornings you're gonna rise up singing, then you'll spread your wings and you'll take to the sky. But till that morning, there ain't nothin' can harm you, so hush little baby don't you cry."

I got up after that, after Sarah sang "don't you cry" to me, and I hadn't and wasn't going to, but that meant that it really wasn't worth it. I got up and played some Corinne Bailey Rae - "Three little birds sat on my window, and they told me I don't have to worry.."

A couple of female singers, some music, some singing, some dancing, and the feelings vanished. They were replaced by this feeling of equanimity. It's funny, in the last 2 years I've truly become a different person. I deal with things in ways that make sense to me and keep me sane. I don't punch walls, I don't shed tears, I don't get aggressive. I dance, sing, paint, and laugh. If there are moments where my laughter is punctuated and the next emotion is the opposite, I find a way to get back to the laughter.

Mental health is a wonderful thing.


Sometimes, there are no words. Sometimes for no reason you can conceive some aspect of the everything and everyone decides to single themselves out as the asshole. Sometimes sadness happens in the midst of laughter, from something as simple as a text or an email, to something as complicated as someone saying the wrong thing to you. Sometimes anger comes from nowhere, like a beast lumbering through the dark woods waiting for the chipper Red Riding Hood.

Everyone has had this experience. You are in the midst of your joy and the opposite attacks you out of some dark corner of an alley. Hell, sometimes this happens without any outside force making it happen. Sometimes, in fact, you do it to yourself.

When I get to that place, I know it's time to go. I could be enjoying myself to the utmost, then suddenly, I am gone replaced with a shell of my former self. No one needs to ask me what's wrong. My face says it all.

"When I cry, there is no love. No there is nothing that can comfort me enough." One of my favorite singers sang that in a song. "When I cry, every tear falls deep inside. The salt inside my body ruins everyone I come close to. My hands are barely holding up my head." I've been that song. Right now, I am that song.

Tomorrow I will find my light again. Sleep needs to come fast tonight. Sleep between tears - of both anger and sadness.

Mar 27, 2010

The Importance of Friends

I had an experience that made me appreciate my friends and family even more. The experience isn't what's important... but the feeling I got from it. I had a night that made me realize why I have and hold my friends. I realized why I am a great friend to those who I choose to be one to, and more importantly, I realized just what they bring into my life.

I have a motley collection of friends from various places in life, work, school, the neighborhood I grew up in, theatre, the neighborhood I live in now... I don't always stay in touch as much as I'd like, or do as many things together as I'd like, but I keep them in a special place in my heart always. Someone recently said something about me, without exactly knowing that I would find out what they said. "She's always been better to others than herself." I find that to be the unvarnished truth. Last night I became highly self-aware of just how true this is.

I'd like my friends, all of them, the real ones, the internet ones, the family friends, the old ones and the new ones to know one thing. If you don't know it already, you aren't paying attention. If I count you as a friend, I will take a bullet for you. I will do anything in my power to make sure you are happy even on your darkest day. If I get mad at you, it won't last. I don't like to see one of my friends upset for a long period of time so anger is fleeting with me.

I'm not a perfect person by any means. If someone wrongs one of my friends, I take it personally. If someone talks negatively about someone I like, I'll disown that person from my life in a heartbeat. I don't like to watch people treat other people like shit so, the ones that do, are the ones that go in the dislike pile. When you get there, know this. You won't know that you're there, I'll smile and chat with you and you'll think everything is groovy. What will happen is that selfless girl who would run through a field of stinging nettles barefoot to stop you from crossing the same field will cease to exist in your world. I will be polite and nice and sweet, but I will not be what I am to my true friends. If there is one truth it's that I'm loyal, like any good bitch should be.

So, last night I saw of myself what other people see. I was moved by it. Becoming self aware is really weird. I'm glad it happened. However, part of me is kinda frightened at the whole prospect of living up to who I am. Now that I am aware of it, I hope I don't lose it.

The importance of friends is this:
The ones that you love help you grow as a person. The ones that piss you off help you grow as a person too, probably moreso. There are those people in your life that serve one purpose, to make you appreciate the ones that make you happy, make you think, bring you joy, and help your spirit grow. Even assholes have an importance in your life, they are like the sea to the sky - reflecting a difference that even though the sky and the sea are vastly different, occasionally the sky will spill the sea back into itself.

Hold fast to your friends. Keep the good, the bad, the amazing, and the not-so-amazing. Every interaction with them will expand your soul. Afterall, the soul is the only reason we exist.


Mar 26, 2010

The Age Requirement for Fun

Sometimes I wake up in the morning and spend a couple minutes thinking to myself, "Why did I act like a juvenile last night?" The thing about this thought is for me, it only lasts a couple minutes. The real questions are, "Did I laugh? Did I have fun? Did the people with me laugh and have fun?" If the answer to these other questions is yes, it's clear that the initial question has no meaning in the sense of anything that's real.

Not to go all Robert Fulghum on you, but there are things we learn as children that we forget as adults. We forget how to laugh at the absurd. We forget that how other people perceive us is unimportant if we are enjoying ourselves. We forget that to have true connections with others in this world, we have to cease being individuals for a second and just laugh together.

In honor of Robert Fulghum (Author of All I Ever Need To Know I Learned in Kindergarten):

If We Only Knew Now, What We Knew Then.

1. Holding hands will keep you from getting lost.
2. Being barefoot is far better than having shoes on. This is especially true on a rainy day.
3. Candy tastes better before dinner than after.
4. Anything that doesn't make you laugh or have fun is unnecessary.
5. Anything you create with love is beautiful. (I made some hideous macaroni necklaces for my Mom, and thought they were the best thing ever.)
6. Chalk +Sidewalk=Hours of awesome.
7. The best games are the ones that come from your imagination.
8. There is always an invisible friend nearby to give you direction. (As an adult it's my higher self, as a child her name was Julie.)
9. Play time is essential.
10. Anything shaped like a ball can lead to hours of enjoyment. (Rubber, clay, wood, glass, meat... the possibilities are endless)

Remember what you lost when you grew up. Be a delinquent, have fun. Life is too short to take anything too seriously. Don't regret anything. But most importantly remember, anything that doesn't make you laugh or have fun is unnecessary. The soul grows more with laughter than tears.

Mar 24, 2010

This morning.

This morning I woke up with a need to paint. I needed to put brush to canvas in the worst way and had no idea why. The piece I'm painting is Puerto Rican Folklore themed so musically I opted for some Latin Jazz. Nothing like a little jazzy Mambo number to get the ideas flowing.

I stopped painting when I heard the music though. My feet needed to dance. And that's exactly what I did. For a couple of hours I spun, kicked, twirled, and danced around until the sweat gathering on my brow started to drip into my eyes. Soon I was so involved that I had a transcendent experience. I saw how amazing my life is and has been. How every little moment in my life has led me to the place I am now. How the friends I have met in the last 35 years are people that I will never lose from my life. I danced and remembered friends who danced with me through my life, and how the rhythms of certain songs take me back to moments with them. How hearing a song that we'd shared can take me back to the scents and feelings of summers past.

I stopped dancing and sat down to think about music. My musical tastes are eclectic - as an artist, I like some progressive rock and intense music - as a dancer, I can get down to anything with a beat - as a Puerto Rican island music sings to me. There is absolutely no genre of music that I can't find the amazing in, even some Miley Cyrus bubble gum pop catastrophe has its place in the universe somewhere. I could never have a party and just hit shuffle on my iPod though. I can picture it now... sitting at dinner and the cast recording of Les Miserables fires off. Worse still, the soundtrack for Aladdin - just picture it. I did a puppet show once with the music from Disney's Aladdin, but that's not what my guests would believe.

Thing is, I'm a happy girl, so I like happy music. I can get down with some deep depressive shit too, don't get me wrong. I just prefer to listen to something that will motivate me, so danceable sounds are often emanating from my stereo. When I get pensive you might hear something deep and romantic... Billie Holiday - Sarah Vaughan - Rosemary Clooney. Then I go off on a tangent and some intricate crazy guitar will come on - Pastorius, Vai, Keneally, Tommy Emmanuel...

I think music is a deeply personal thing, we all don't like the same music - which is why I like to meet people who like things that I would normally not listen to. It grows me as a person. I like growing... like a vine searching out the sun for nourishment - reaching up to grasp the warm light.

As I write this, there is silence in the house. The music has stopped again. I think I might hit shuffle. Afterall, I am in an empty house.

Mar 23, 2010


Today, I go to karaoke. It's something I do once a week without fail, unless I have to work the next morning - then, all bets are off. There's a thing about karaoke though, there are many different reasons why I do it.

The Drum and Monkey is just a pub in the middle of the UIC campus, which makes it the type of place I'd never hang out in regularly. Oddly enough, the kids that hang out there, the staff, and the regular singers, are all pretty cool people. Sure there's the occasional douche nozzle, but for the most part, they are all cool. Unlike my usual hangout, no one has ever rubbed their rear end on me, or their front end for that matter, no one has spilled a drink on me, and none of the people that go to THAT bar have ever stalked me - at least not horribly.

The thing about the Drum and Karaoke is this... I'd been to karaoke at other bars before. I never felt comfortable. I always felt self-conscious, nervous, and anxiety ridden. There is something about the atmosphere of that bar that makes me feel perfectly at home. The regulars that sing on Tuesdays have become pals of mine, some of us have actually cultivated actual friendships and chill outside of the confines of that bar. There is just something spiritual about that place. I can't truly explain it. But I'm going to try.

The first time I went there was with a co-worker that I would normally not be hanging out with. We have different value systems, beliefs, ideals, and senses of humor. I was already a bit nervous going to karaoke with him because of this. Cest la vie, I went anyway. Because I knew no one, I just went up, put a song in, and waited. When Jim called me up there, I sang like there was no such thing as fear. And that's when they gave me my own nickname at that bar. From that moment, I became "Lisa Fuckin' G."

They've changed DJs multiple times since I've been going there, right now we're on number 3. Matt's pretty awesome. He doesn't even care that I'll call him a dick on the mic repeatedly. And he does a great job with the mix making sure that it's not just random songs in random order. And, he still calls me Lisa Fucking G. I have a friend who brings me new music without me even asking for it. I've even had to sing a song a cappella when the music wouldn't function. It was fun.

It's not about singing in public, or singing good songs - since most of the shit I sing there is horrible pop music. It's about releasing my entire week of tension in a way that's safe, and fun, and harmless. Rather than punch a bag, or a d-bag... I sing.
People clap. I go home.

I love Tuesdays. Here's to tonight.

Mar 21, 2010

Random Haiku

In silence we love
Nothing but some circumstance
Keeping us apart.

Come and rescue me
From the pain within my heart
Want to hold your hand.

Feathers on my skin
From the breath that leaves your lungs
Giggles on my neck.

Smiling like a fool
Every time I hear your voice
Now my cheeks just hurt.

Your smile is so green
Like a watermelon rind
Sweet like honeydew

Oak tree in the wind
My love rustles through your leaves
Tickling the sky

Strawberry scented
Tresses flowing down my back
Patient for your dive

A top ten list - sorta.

This post is going to be random thoughts about things. Little sentences that explain how I feel about life. Words I live by, things my parents taught me, and who I am in a nutshell. A list, for fun. (Like a marathon fortune cookie)

1. A woman doesn't put on makeup when she sets out to love someone, only when she sets out to find someone to love her. Metaphorically, I never wear makeup. It's always better when you expect nothing in return.

2. Dance every day, even if only for a moment - in the dark - alone.

3. Never be a version of yourself. Just be yourself. When you start to tone yourself down for any given situation, you cease being magical. (Unless you are that loud woman that I know who I've started referring to as "Old Yeller." Then please. Tone it down.)

4. Spiritual learning occurs from every direction. Always be nice to those around you, even if they are the choadiest of choads. You learn experientially, so experience everyone.

5. Soar. ((Not sore.)) Never be afraid to fall because you've reached unimaginable heights. Falling doesn't hurt you as much as not trying will.

6. Wake up every morning and smile, the day that you don't wake up thankful and happy is the day you should reassess your situation and adjust accordingly.

7. Meditate on what you have done. Reflection is the key to moving forward through the minefield of life. Reflecting back will give you a map that moves you forward.

8. Apologize. It's always someone's turn to be the asshole. A true friend has probably already forgiven you. If not, at least you made the effort.

9. Love. Send it from your soul in every direction. Send it into the future and the past - the ever flowing mobius strip of the now.

10. Fear has no place in your life or soul. Never play it safe. Never spare yourself from something amazing. If someone tells you that something is a bad idea, remember advice and directions are not the same thing. Let your soul be your pilot - anything from outside of yourself is someone else's reality.

Mar 19, 2010

I wrote something about arguments and relationships a couple days ago. The piece was about how most arguments in any given relationship are unnecessary and stem from a place of fear usually. Again, I believe that fear is the opposite of love - so the fact that most blow ups in relationships come from the opposite of love - proves how unnecessary they are. In that post I mentioned my goal for a relationship, being with someone who understands how unnecessary the majority of relationship related arguments are. The thing is, even if I find this person right now - they'd have to wait for me. Why? Well...

Now the thing about being single, after having been in a committed relationship for a long time is finding yourself again. The problem with some relationships is that people change who they truly are in order to fit into some vision they have of the couple. Someone wants to change someone else and voilá - in doing so they change who they are. On June 10, 2008 the person I'd been for a long time ceased to exist. I wanted to find the old me.

I stopped being the spiritual person I am for a while. I stopped dancing. I stopped sharing myself with the world in the selfless ways that made me feel whole and connected to the universe. I stopped being me.

On 6/10 I set out on a goal to find her. And boy did I. I LOVE that girl. I couldn't believe she'd been gone for so long. Sure, there were glimpses of her here and there, but effectively she was gone. Now that I've found her, for the most part, I don't ever want to let her go again. I don't ever want the connection I have to the universe to be severed, ever again.

Imagine the following. For years you can hear the most beautiful music emanating from the souls of the people around you. For years you can walk through the city streets and find miracles on every corner. For years you can see the most vibrant colors and then one day, everything is grayscale, the music is silenced, and miracles cease.

Finding miracles, hearing the music, and seeing the amazing colors of life is better when you have someone to share your miracles with, someone who can hear the music with you, and someone who can appreciate the colors that you see. Watching a sunset alone isn't the same as sharing it with someone - and remembering the shared experience. It will take a very, very special person to share my life with. And while I adore being single, and listening to the music of the universe again... I'd be lying if I said that sharing the experience with someone who understands isn't better than going it alone. Having a co-conspirator in the game of life is always the goal.

But right now, I'm enjoying the reintegration of my spirit and myself too much to muck it up with a relationship. Granted, things happen and sometimes you don't have a say in the matters of the heart. Sometimes your subconscious has a different plan for you than you realize. The soul knows better than the mind - always. So sometimes you don't have a say in the matter... opportunities arise that you were blissfully unaware of.. or worse that scare the shit out of you because they weren't in your master plan.

Right now, I'm happy loving myself, and some day I'll share that love with someone else. Whether that's in a year or two or a week or two depends on my soul's plan. But this post pretty much delineates my brain's plan.

Mar 17, 2010

Sometimes you laugh a lot...

Today was one of those days that I just found the funny in everything. I'm usually a pretty happy-go-lucky kinda gal, but today just went beyond.

I woke up all pissy. Why? Because I had to get up at the ass-crack of the morning to judge what I was told was to be a poetry competition for the Chicago Public Schools Area 4. I got there and found out it was the Academic Decathlon's Oratory competition. That changed things a bit, it made things a bit more interesting. Apparently, I was the "celebrity" judge. The other two judges were retired educators.

I took off my hoodie and three of the kids in the room said, "Cool, check out her tattoos!" It made me smile. I had apparently gotten there an hour early, so I sat and read through the rules of the competition, looked at the judging sheets, and finally at the material that the kids were going to recite. That's when I lost it.

Almost every one of the kids was going to recite a eulogy. In case there is someone out there who is unaware of what a eulogy is, it's the speech that is given at a funeral about the deceased. I was about to watch a bunch of middle school kids give eulogies. In essence, I was going to judge a marathon funeral. I couldn't stop laughing.

Both of the girls who won, were the only two who DIDN'T recite eulogies. Let that be a lesson to anyone out there about to join an oratory competition - stay away from the funeral speech.

During lunch, the principal of the school was sitting at our table and called out to one of the students, "Crochet, why aren't you wearing any shoes?" I blinked, CROCHET? Really, the kid's name is CROCHET? It brought to mind a story that my friend Katy told about a child named Abcde, pronounced "Absidee." I told the story and we went around the room talking about the names that the teachers in the room had heard over the years. Courvoisier, Brandy Alexander, Obamanique Michelle... I had to laugh.

Later in the day I had an appointment with Scott Fricke to get tattooed. We laughed a lot during the session, but when I came to the topic of the children's names he told me something hilarious. A friend of his girlfriend had a student in her class named Chantell. However, the teacher had to gesticulate with her hands during pronunciation of this name or the child wouldn't respond. Why, you might ask? Because the child's name included a swoosh of the hand at the end. Seriously. I died.

Licenses for parents. It's been said before and I'll say it again. There should be a law. Kids should be protected from this naming problem. Except of course for the child that might be named Megatron. Yes, read about that here.

Mar 16, 2010

There is almost nothing worse...

Than being a magnet. I realize that there is something about my aura or personality that makes me one. I've said it before. But why is it always the loneliest person that has to attach themselves? Ugh!

As I was sitting there writing this my friend came up and said that she was thinking about my magnet status as well as hers. She said, "You're a magnet for the crazy, lonely guy/girl who wants to have a conversation for 4 hours." Then she added that she's a magnet for crazy-go-nuts types, and our friend Nikki is a magnet for crazy couples. Now, since the three of us hang out together, our magnetism becomes some sort of trifecta of magnetism and we end up with every nut job within a 4 mile radius wanting to hang out. It's upsetting.

Tonight I was trying to eat a burger when the most talkative dude came up to sit next to me. This guy could monologue for hours on end. He will talk to someone even when it's obvious that they're not listening. Why was the only place to sit - directly next to me? He wasn't there for 5 minutes before the "Radioactive Douchebag" came in and parked himself next to us as well. The thing I have to be most thankful for was that I was literally stopping in to have a burger and then leave. I had things to do and a bed to jump into before midnight, because I'm judging a children's poetry contest in the morning.

Leaving was twice as enjoyable as it would have been because these shit demons were there. So I guess I have that to be thankful for!

I think I need to talk more and listen less, especially when the talkies sit next to me. I should just start rambling on about the dumbest shit I can think of. Although that invites them to the party, doesn't it? I need to think about some way to make myself off-putting. I need to become the shit that I attract somehow.

I reject the U.S. Census.

So, I'm doing my civic duty and filling out the U.S. Census... and then I get to question number 8.

"For the purposes of this Census, Hispanic origins are not races."

Then question number 9,

(Check one or more boxes)

American Indian / Alaskan Native

There are even boxes for "GUAMANIAN and CHAMORRO"

So, what box do I mark off? Other? Really? So, U.S. Census - I've decided to mark off every freaking box that's under "race", even Guamanian. According to the writing on the envelope, filling out the Census form is required by law, however no where does it state that you have to fill it out in any way that makes sense.

From now on, I'm part Guamanian, because apparently they're important enough to have their own box.

Suck it Census.

Mar 15, 2010

Arguments and Relationships

A friend of mine told me a story that had been told to him by one of his friends. This person (the friend of a friend) was in the middle of a heated argument with his wife and when he went to yell, he farted. He started laughing and effectively ended the argument by "hugging it out." Afterall, who can argue after something like that.

The story got me to thinking about relationships and arguments in general. Every argument I've ever had in a relationship, in retrospect, was unnecessary. They almost always stemmed from one of the other person being jealous, depressed, fearful, or insecure. Think about every argument you've ever had with a significant other... Think about what the arguments were about...

At this point in my life, I know the type of relationship I'd like to be in. I'd like to be in one where the other person and I can discuss things without them escalating. I've made enough stupid relationship mistakes in my life by now to know that nothing good comes from bottling shit up and then blowing up like some sort of explosive charge. Sure, there is the need for some type of discussion and argument but almost all other arguments in relationships that stem from one of those four places is unnecessary.

Of course, everything isn't always sunshine and roses...

hug it out.
(Farting is optional.)

Mar 12, 2010

Astral Projection

Astral projection is something that everyone - yes everyone, even you - can do.

There was this book I read called OBEs for beginners. OBE is the acronym for Out of Body Experience. This book basically states that to astral project you just need to go through constant self-affirmation about it. All day repeat to yourself "I will leave my body today." Or something similar that means something to you. "My soul will travel today and I'll be aware of it." That was my affirmation.

Now, I read this book after having astral projected accidentally - well maybe not accidentally - it was necessary. Read "Bravery-Reposted from Facebook" for one of the instances of necessary OBE. When I was a child I used to do it all the time, but I was unaware of why or what was going on... to me it was just imagination or wishful thinking or a kid being a kid. I thought it was natural.

I read the OBE book after one of my accidental out of body experiences, because I wanted to learn how to control it. Everyone wants control over their spirit, over their soul, over themselves. It's not something that a lot of people attain because the truth is most people are too involved in the minutia of daily life to know that they can do something incredible. But I wanted to do something specific. I wanted to visit Egypt.

So I set out on the instructions in the book. All day long whenever I remembered, I said - often aloud - "My soul will travel today and I'll be aware of it." Awareness in my opinion leads to control.

That night I went home and read a chapter of the book, pausing between sentences to state my new mantra. The chapter was all about the author's understanding of the best way to eject your soul from your body. The author's idea was to somersault out of your body. Now here's where things get funny for this first experience where I was fully in control of the situation.

The idea is that the best time to astral project is either right as you're about to fall asleep, when you are at your most relaxed. The other best time to do it is right before you are fully awake. As you're reaching for the snooze button.

I went to bed, and as I lay down I repeated the mantra once more. I was über tired, so I just went for it. I was laying there and closed my eyes and just as I felt like I was going to pass out, I did it. I did a backward somersault out of my body. It took about three tries. Now, the funny thing is that at the time the headboard to my bed was against one of the outer walls of the house that I lived in. I somersaulted out of my body and went straight out that wall and just hovered there staring down - I lived on the second floor. Oddly enough, I'm pretty scared of heights, so I kinda freaked out a little. I somersaulted right back in to my body.

I figured, maybe a backward somersault isn't the right idea... so I somersaulted forward. Then I floated above myself and watched myself sleep. I floated out of the bedroom and around the apartment. My puppy, Mahli, started barking at me. She chased my astral body. I thought it was funny, but had something I wanted to do, so I shot up through the attic, through the roof and floated above the street. Attaching me to my physical body was what looked like a string. I knew by looking at this iridescent thread that I could go anywhere and always get back. I soared through the city. I wanted to go to New Orleans and suddenly - I was there... floating through Cemetery Number One, one of my favorite places in the world. I saw spirits and essences everywhere, with not a hint of anything sinister or evil... everything was beautiful, everything in its place.

I wanted to go back to my body, and suddenly I was there, in the bedroom hovering over myself. Getting back into myself was interesting because I can't even truly describe the feeling. It was like a toilet being flushed in my chest and a whirlpool sucked my spirit back into my body. I couldn't move my body though, and it scared me. I thought, "was I gone too long?" But I relaxed again and slowly opened my eyes.

I suggest that if you haven't tried this, you do. There is nothing more liberating than knowing you're more than your brain and your body. The essence of who you are is real and can exist separately from your physical being. Knowing this puts your life into a whole different perspective. It also helps you understand your place in the universe, and the true nature of your fellow man.

Migrating my blog

So, I have to migrate my blog - which means that the likelihood that it'll be down for a while is pretty high. The likelihood that it won't all come back - also high.

I don't mind so much for the stupid posts where I write about snapple bottle caps, or things like "I love this emoticon" from years ago... but the fact that the blog has been active for YEARS now is awesome, the fact that some of it might end up missing is sad.

I am weeping. (Not really, what I am is in a downward spiral of insomnia.)

I like reading through the old posts sometimes and just laughing. It's quite funny to see some of the things that I've said over the years, and wonder - where did that girl go? When you read through the years from then to now, you can truly see that a change took place somewhere along the line.

I think that's pretty awesome.

I hope the migration goes smoothly.
*Fingers crossed*

Mar 5, 2010


Ugh. Some nights you just go balls out / balls to the wall / basically you do something with the balls that as a woman you don't physically have - but metaphorically...

Anyway. To my ridiculously ridiculous night and horrifyingly bad morning... the following song.

Weekend by Mike Keneally.

This is the twisted weekend of my life
I walk and mumble
I mumble to myself for an hour
and I think my head is going to explode
These are the strangest moments of my days
There is no focus
Voices from on high are laughing
And I think my head is going to explode
Play fair you blasted forces
Play fair you deities
I can't predict your courses
My brain a slurpee freeze
Relent you flippin' forces
Retreat you wicked gods
Retreat on winged horses
I can't abide these odds.

This is the twisted weekend of my life
I walk and mumble
I cannot drag myself into the shower
And I think my face is going to explode
Inside of the next hour
These are the strangest moments of my days
And voices from on high are laughing
Their talk makes me weak
This is the twisted weekend of my life
I mumble to myself for an hour
And my heart pop out my chest

Play fair you horrid voices
Play fair you hijinx lords
Your point is ten fold proven
You've gone well overboard
Relent you piercing voices
Make past tense your shrieks
You lousy good for nothings
You scoffing shrieking freaks

This is the twisted weekend of my life
I walk and mumble
I mumble to myself for an hour
And I think my head is going to explode
And voices from on high are laughing
Their talk makes me weak
I cannot drag myself into the shower
This is the twisted weekend of my life

Play fair you blasted forces
Play fair you deities
I can't predict your courses
My brain. A slurpee. Freeze.
Relent you flipping forces
Retreat you wicked gods
Retreat on winged horses
I can't abide these odds.

This is the twisted weekend of my life
And I think
My head
Is going to