Dec 30, 2010

Just wow.

I was fed love on a plate
covered in mushrooms and bacon
and tattoos and tenderness.

Dec 22, 2010

Love Letter

To Whom it May Concern,

You opened my chest and ripped out my heart, if you look you'll find it's in your grasp, and it's still beating. You devoured my heart and when you finished snacking on my love, you dove into my brain.

I am now a heartless zombie.

A heartless zombie that loves you.

With all my love,

Dec 14, 2010

Love is strange

I've never felt the kind of love that doesn't need a damn thing but itself to exist. I just need to know that he loves me and I love him and that is enough. More than that though, I don't even need to know that he loves me in order to love him. I love him whether he loves me back or not.

I've never taken anything this slow. I've never had this much patience for anything. Shit, I get annoyed at the movies when there are too many previews because I want to get to the movie! I hate standing in line. Being on the phone makes me want to stab myself in the vag with a steak-knife. I truly have no patience, for anything but him.

I always believed that there was someone out there who would understand every little weirdness about me. I believed that there was someone who only I'd be able to figure out. Lo and behold, the Universe delivers when the time is right.

He is my muse. He is my inspiration. He is my need to be a better person. He is the reason I don't want to do anything unhealthy anymore. He is the smile in the morning when the sun hits my face. He is my smile at night when my head hits the pillow. He is my courage and my good luck charm. He is my heart.

I hope I give him a quarter of what he gives me.

I don't think anyone but the two of us understand it. Although our friend Charlie believes that the two of us together is the only thing that makes sense. Charlie's a genius. :)

Dec 5, 2010

It's been a while...


Where to begin? There is so much juicy and interesting crap to report... I guess I'll just jump in with both feet.

Months ago I began alluding to a crush I had on someone. Later, I wrote about how that crush became like. I wrote about how I was not in love with this person. Who was I kidding? :) Well, in one big ball of panic - through uncontrollable shakes - with my head hung down as though I were prostrating myself... I admitted how I felt to him. The beautiful thing is - a poem I wrote a long, long time ago for courage came true. It's called "One Truth".

I truly have never known anyone who made me feel normal. Around him, I don't feel like a spastic shit-show. I know with every cell in my body that he's "the one". He's the one that I'll be sitting in a rocking chair next to reminiscing on our youth.

*I figured I'd get the best news out of the way first.

About a month ago, I started directing for the NBC CHICAGO NON-STOP Channel. I direct the Roe and Roeper show now for 4 hours straight on any given day. The thing is, it's been a riot and I've learned a lot about myself. Apparently, I have a lot of Republican leanings. I'm not saying I'm going to one of those Tea Party things, but I'm pretty sure I'm no longer a blind follower of the Democratic party. I'm not jumping to the Republican side either - but the blindfold is off - education and understanding of those in political office is key. I implore anyone who reads this blog, educate yourself on the facts and judge every official that you elect on their history and record, not just on whether the avatar of their political party is an Ass or an Elephant. Open your eyes, vote with your heart.

*Here comes some more GOOD news. I'm not sure what that last news was exactly.

I lost 50lbs. May 10, 2010 I quit drinking. I started working out every day and have increased the length of time of this workout from 30 minutes a day, to 2 hours. I can run without shortness of breath. I look like I did when I was 18, except for little crow's feet that appear when I smile. I went from a size 22 to a size 14 in 7 months. I'm still losing weight. I think I'm comfortable right now at this size though.

*Here comes some scary news. Sorry.

Something is going on with my body that I'm not quite sure of. I'll say this. Please pray for me, focus your prayers on my health and please don't give any power to the illness.

Lisa is the picture of health. <--- Repeat like a mantra.

Do NOT think this though: "Please let Lisa feel better." You see, the first one is an affirmation, it moves mountains in the universe to become true. The second one, focuses on the fact that I don't feel well and is not an affirmation at all.


*Take it and go*