Wow. I got an email from my good friend and kindred spirit, Sonia. She relayed a story that a friend of hers had just felt her connection to the world for the first time. She felt it, tasted it, smelled it, touched it... basically a sensory orgasm. The first time you feel your connection to the all is amazing. Someone had shared their experience with Sonia and she knew that she had to in turn - share it with me.
Sonia asked me something simple. She wanted me to share my experience - the first time I'd felt at one with the Earth. The first time I felt in awe of everything. I'm going to go a bit further than that though. Don't I always?
Recently I wrote a note called Painting with Rain, and in that note you can read my connection to the Universe. It is not a connection that I ever truly disconnect from, although when I do the disconnection is brief.
When I was a child, I spent every summer in Puerto Rico. Living in the Tropics will connect you to the music of the world without you even intending to connect. There is no denying the beauty of the world when you are surrounded by it.
I was about 9 or 10 perhaps, I don't remember my exact age, but I was in 3rd grade. I was at my Grandmother's house in the mountains in Cayey when I first stood in awe of the world. It was as though my senses became confused. I could taste the green of the grass. I could smell the clouds. I felt nature growing. I closed my eyes and I could see music. My ears were ringing with the giggles of the grass.
In that moment, I knew everything was perfect. I knew that my Grandmother would be making lemonade from the lemons she picked next to the swing. I knew that the ants that were biting my feet didn't mean me harm necessarily, they were just doing what they do. I could hear the thoughts of the dogs - lazy in the sunshine - praying for rain to cool them down. I knew that one of the chickens was sitting on eggs that had been fertilized by the house rooster - and soon there would be little baby chicks. There was a guinea hen that was annoyed because one of my cousins was chasing her. I was in love with this feeling. I had connected to the Earth.
Once you connect to the world, you don't lose it. You can access this connection at any time. It doesn't matter where you are.
When I was 18 I was up on a hill at my cousin's ranch. The horses were in the stable - the chickens in their coop. It was night time. We had all picked a spot in the grass to lay. We looked up at the stars. On that hill in Puerto Rico, there weren't any lights - only the moonlight coating everything like a veil. The stars were plentiful.
I opened my mouth and verbalized my feelings.
"We're in a jar. We're like an ant farm, or fireflies. The stars, the light we see - that's Heaven. The darkness between, is the lid of the jar we're in. The stars themselves, holes poked in the lid."
One of my cousins laughed and said, "Entonces que es el dia?" (Then what is the day?)
"The day is when God retreats back to childish ways. The hot sun is the light of Heaven through a magnifying glass."
They all pondered that for a moment.
I laughed and looked at the stars and they winked approval. The moon smiled a crescent smile. The stars didn't seem far at all. I felt as though I could scoop them up in my hand. Then I smelled them, and tasted them, and they touched me. They brushed up against my face and warmed me. It was the first time I'd connected to the Universe.
First times are amazing. I believe these are the stories of losing my virginity. I made love to the ALL. I connected with everything. At ten it was with the world, and at 18 I was finally ready to have intergalactic intercourse.
The Universe is amazing. We should all be so lucky to love it so freely. It gives itself to us unconditionally - we just need to be open.