Paint

Sometimes I take all the shit I don't want in my life and write it down. Everything negative I've ever thought of myself - too fat - too tattooed - too loud - too smart - not good enough - not pretty enough - either too much or not enough of whatever it is. I write this all down. Yes, all of it. I take that paper and burn it. I burn all the bad shit in my head and wait for the ashes to form at the bottom of whatever receptacle I've chosen. I mix this ash with paint - and make beauty out of it.

Sometimes I go the opposite way - sometimes I take all the shit I love about myself and write it down too. I'm a genius. I'm beautiful. I'm an art gallery. I'm talented. I'm happy. I have hundreds of friends. I am awesome. I am an angel. I can leave my body. I can see people's auras. I can fucking fly. I can turn into a plant by mimicking its breathing. I can hear the thoughts of trees. I can hear the pain of humans and act upon it. I can create miracles. These things I write down, these and more - and I also burn that paper. And I mix those ashes with the paint and make beauty out of the mixture.

Before I left Chicago for my trip to Puerto Rico, I had one prayer. I had a canvas that had been sitting on the easel for MONTHS waiting for the right moment. Waiting for me to have something to put on paper and burn. A prayer? A thought? An idea? I had a dream full of vivid reds, and yellows, and leafless trees. I asked for one thing and wrote that one thing down two days before my trip. My thought - my dream - my hope... was for some sort of inspiration. I wanted to be inspired to come home after my trip and fill every blank canvas in my studio with amazing.

I painted. Not my best work - not by a long shot - but good enough to hang, and definitely beautiful. But the true magic - the true artistry has nothing to do with the brush strokes - and everything to do with inspiration. I've found it. I can't wait to get home and paint.

You ever have one of those evenings that you expect nothing from but obtain the opposite? It's like some crazy mathematical theorem that shouldn't have an answer to it, but lo and behold there is one?

Tonight.. I had one of those. Sure, if I focus for more than 12 seconds I can actually read the minds of anyone in a 5 block radius... but I choose not to. I choose not to because the unknown is so much more interesting than the known. Sure reading someone's thoughts will give you amazing information - who they are, what they believe in, how you will interact with them.

But the truth of the matter is, when you go out expecting NOTHING and you get SOMETHING in return - it's amazing.

So thanks. You know who the fuck you are... I don't need to spell it out. Thanks to you nd whoever brought u to me spiritually.